White Trash Food Festival

By Tara Nelson

“Yes, it’s the Magic Skagit, so called, and a river runs through it like a fugitive freight line, hauling the sweat of struggling farmers, hauling the tears of the dispossessed tribes, hauling the snoose of callous loggers, the drool of greedy developers and slime of corrupt politicos; yet transporting the dreams of those who work and preserve and protect this increasingly threatened swan-blanched drizzleland, the enlightened who recognize that maintaining a respect – nay, a reverence! – for wildness, for the Skagit’s raw peaks, dark arbors and primordial bogs, is an essential component of what it means to be truly human, truly alive.” – Excerpt from Tom Robbins’ foreward in The Natural Skagit: A Journey From Mountains To Sea.

Every year, a group of Skagit County residents and visitors put on their rainbow suspenders, overalls and load the gun racks to a popular food festival held on a bucolic country road near La Conner.
Even in this area abundant with fresh local seafood, hand-made artisan cheeses and organic produce, participants to this festival will compete to see whose Jell-o mold is tastiest and which hot dog most deep-fried to perfection. This is the White Trash Food Festival held each August at the Rexville Grocery. There are no rules, only creativity, said owner Stuart Welch, who opened the store with his wife in 1999.

And what is a typical entry? “Spam dominates,” Welch said. “Velveeta has also earned his place. One of the thing that seems to happen is we've almost developed two categories: one being traditional White Trash, meaning things that taste good like the famous ham dog, which is made with ground hot dog, mixed with hamburger, served on a hot dog bun with mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato and ketchup and mustard. And then we had this art food thing where people parody with artistic representation of what White Trash food tastes like.”

Welch said one example was a red velvet cake with a meat cleaver in the middle of it with a note that read, “You know who you are and what you did,” aimed toward a guy who ditched out on his prom night.

Categories include main dish, appetizer, and dessert. There is also a category for best costume. Welch recalled a costume winner from several years back that stole the show when they arrived in a pick-up truck with a loaded gun rack.

“They showed up in a pick up truck with rifle rack full, got out, they had teeth blacked out and a stained wife beater shirt and she had her overalls with a pillow stuck in it,” he said. “She had the pregnancy walk down perfectly and made an incredible black eye and bruises on her arm. When they walked in, the music stopped.”

The idea for the festival came about during a conversation among a group of regulars that included local writer and cult icon Tom Robbins, for which the deli’s “writer’s tuna” sandwich is affectionately named after. (The sandwich features albacore tuna, kim chee, the spicy, Korean fermented cabbage concoction, along with evenly spread mayonnaise on local Breadfarm bread).

“We had established ourselves as a gourmet food store here, there was a discussion that occurred between someone who felt we needed sort of the anti-christ of gourmet food. That idea was embraced by Tom Robbins while they were drinking at the bar,” Welch said. “They said we had everything from garlic octopus and flavored tuna, they felt we needed to represent the other side.”

The Welchs purchased the 2,000-square foot building on the steps of the Skagit County Court House in 1998. At the time, building was dilapidated with several holes the size of golf balls in the roof and cars in the yard. The couple worked six months repairing the building with Stuart making large repairs and Joyce painting the interior food-related colors such as the exact yellow of a certain best-selling mustard. Today, the store sells gourmet cheeses, wine, catering, specialty and ethnic foods, live seafood, local goods and on-site organic coffee roasting.

Welch recommends the following cookbooks for those who weren’t raised with such culinary talents:
* The Magic of Peanut Butter, 100 new recipes
* Marshmallow Fluff cookbook
* Magic of Jelly
* Spam Cookbook, by LInda Eggers
* Cookie Dough Delights
* Twinkie Cookbook

The event is scheduled for 1 p.m., Saturday August 1. Judging starts at 2 p.m.

Rexville Grocery is open from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily and is located at 19271 Best Road in Mt. Vernon. For more information, call360/466-5522

For a complete list of events, check out their website at www.rexvillegrocery.com.

Tom Robbin’s Spam and Oyster Supreme

¼ C. Butter
¼ C. Flour
2 C. Milk
1 C. Whipping Cream
1 Quart oysters in their liquid
1 (12oz) Can diced Spam
1 Lb. Sliced mushrooms, sautéed
Pinch cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper

In a saucepan, melt the butter. Add flour and stir, while cooking until almost dry. Slowly add milk and stir until sauce is smooth and thickened. Stir in the cream. Add more milk if too thick. Add cayenne and black pepper to taste. Keep warm and do not let boil. In separate pan, sauté mushrooms in butter. In another skillet, sauté oysters in their juice until the edges begin to curl. Add oysters, spam and sautéed mushrooms to cream sauce. Keep warm in chaffing dish. Serve over dry toast points. Enjoy Spam!